He who has departed

I attended my uncle's burial yesterday. It felt surreal going through the motions of an odd mix of Christian and traditional Chinese burial rites: attending a Catholic mass, putting on a white and red sash, walking a few blocks with the funeral procession, traveling via convoy to the memorial park, continuing the funeral procession once again, dropping white roses over the coffin, sealing the tomb, discarding the white sash, watching my uncle's daughter - my cousin - walk away with a portrait of the deceased only to see her come back later on (unusually), and ending the rites with a quick meal before heading home.

Besides the Catholic priest, there was another informal master of ceremonies, a mute with long gray hair dressed in shabby clothes who joined us during the first leg of the funeral procession. He then showed again in the park, directing family members where to go and what to do, writing the chinese burial date on the newly plastered tomb with a barbecue stick, and making sure that everyone discarded the white part of the sash and took the red portion home. All that without saying a word.

Though often unnecessary and superstitious, rituals and those who make sure that they are done properly do appear to serve a purpose, perhaps to preoccupy those who are grieving by giving them simple tasks to carry out when they would otherwise be drowning in the depths of sadness. In that sense, the priest and the strange man played very similar roles, even though they looked worlds apart.

My uncle, though I don't know him very well, was a kind and generous man. My cousins, niece, and nephews love him very much, and I guess those of us who do not know him so well still love him for what he did to deserve that kind of love.

Despite the recent death in the family, I still think that nothing really stops. People live and die, but what they do with their lives, the little acts of kindness are the things that last. They add to the goodness in this world, and those who truly learn and benefit from those actions, tend to do more good in turn.

So, to everyone, a life full of kindess. After all, that is what truly matters long after the end.

A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

I'm sure you foresaw this entry, but no one I know (see links to blogs) seems to have done it yet. So, here's a post wishing all of you a merry Christmas.

Now that the year is almost over, I am tying up loose ends and doing a little reflection. However, I am beginning to feel that nothing really ends, it all just goes on and on. I try to make sense of things by organizing experiences into discrete little episodes, but maybe that's just me and what my little mind can contemplate. So here I am, thinking about my past, present and future, quite perplexed yet still holding it together.

The funny thing is, I can't imagine having it any other way.

Lion Dance of Love

I attended a wedding reception last Sunday in Makati, and the program included a very unusual number: a lion dance. I've seen some lion dances over the years, but I've never seen a dance at a reception before, so this was a first.

There were two lions, and since it was a wedding, they were depicted as "love" lions. So, I guess you can try imagining the routine. The two lions were in foreplay throughout the entire performance. Thankfully, there were acrobatic feats to break the monotony, like the lions jumping from one high place to another and standing on their "hind legs." It was quite entertaining, but i think they went slightly overboard with the "love" bit. At one point, the "lions" were sniffing each other and giving each other back rubs. I am well aware that these are mythical beasts played by two people in special costumes, but if you watch animal planet, you know what comes after the sniffing and preening. I don't mean to sound prudish, but I never thought of the lion dance in that context before.

Overall, I found the reception interesting. There was an effort to present the wedding reception in a different style. There weren't any doves, the poor birds with clipped wings that sit throughout the wedding only to be released into the glaring lights and some kid's eager hands. The program didn't involve tipsy uncles belting out karaoke songs. And there was the lion dance. I wonder what those inspired wedding planners are going to think of next - and how much the sponsors are going to pay for it.

I am the pilot

How sad yet hopeful at the same time.

Collective Guilt

After the flooding in Central Luzon, what just happened makes me think twice about specifying wood. The government will punish the illegal loggers, but how about those who use the wood?