He who has departed

I attended my uncle's burial yesterday. It felt surreal going through the motions of an odd mix of Christian and traditional Chinese burial rites: attending a Catholic mass, putting on a white and red sash, walking a few blocks with the funeral procession, traveling via convoy to the memorial park, continuing the funeral procession once again, dropping white roses over the coffin, sealing the tomb, discarding the white sash, watching my uncle's daughter - my cousin - walk away with a portrait of the deceased only to see her come back later on (unusually), and ending the rites with a quick meal before heading home.

Besides the Catholic priest, there was another informal master of ceremonies, a mute with long gray hair dressed in shabby clothes who joined us during the first leg of the funeral procession. He then showed again in the park, directing family members where to go and what to do, writing the chinese burial date on the newly plastered tomb with a barbecue stick, and making sure that everyone discarded the white part of the sash and took the red portion home. All that without saying a word.

Though often unnecessary and superstitious, rituals and those who make sure that they are done properly do appear to serve a purpose, perhaps to preoccupy those who are grieving by giving them simple tasks to carry out when they would otherwise be drowning in the depths of sadness. In that sense, the priest and the strange man played very similar roles, even though they looked worlds apart.

My uncle, though I don't know him very well, was a kind and generous man. My cousins, niece, and nephews love him very much, and I guess those of us who do not know him so well still love him for what he did to deserve that kind of love.

Despite the recent death in the family, I still think that nothing really stops. People live and die, but what they do with their lives, the little acts of kindness are the things that last. They add to the goodness in this world, and those who truly learn and benefit from those actions, tend to do more good in turn.

So, to everyone, a life full of kindess. After all, that is what truly matters long after the end.